to the friends who’ve broken my heart…

Dear You,

And you. And you. Oh, and also you.

I hope that as you’re reading this, you are somewhere in your life that makes you happy. I hope that you have a job that brings you joy and are surrounded by people that do the same. I hope that you’ve got a roof over your head, and clothes that might fit you a little tight because you’ve always got food in your fridge.

I hope you’re healthy. I hope your insides and your outsides are all squeaky clean. And if they’re not, I hope that you are on a path to get you and your body to healthy.

I hope your dreams have all come true and that you continue to dream up new ones. I hope you work hard to achieve your goals and work even harder once you’ve reached them.

I hope you’re doing great.

I also hope that you think of me, like I often think of you.

I hope you think of the good times and the great times, and even some of the bad times. Think of the laughter, the tears, and the “oh shit, we’re in trouble” moments.

I hope you think of the BFF necklaces and the shared notes we sent back and forth, folded like hearts and stars and shapes I can’t even remember how to make anymore. Think of the late night drives and the songs we sang at the top of our lungs… probably terribly.

I hope you know it broke my heart when you stopped answering my phone calls or returning my text messages. I hope you know it broke my heart when you didn’t show up to gatherings or lunches we’d planned. Or when you’d come to town and not let me know.

I hope you know it broke my heart when you didn’t tell me happy birthday or tell me about the new promotion you got at your job. When you didn’t say I miss you, too when I last said that to you.

I hope you know, that I hold none of that against you.

You see, I don’t tell you that you broke my heart to make you feel crappy about yourself. If anything, I hope it does the opposite. I hope knowing how sad I was about the end of our friendship reminds you of how much you once meant to me. How much our old friendship still means to me.

You can’t have a broken heart without once having loved something so strongly, that it kept your heart together.

So, to the friends who’ve broken my heart…

Thank you.

For all the things that we had that made losing you hurt so bad.

Love, always,

Me.