Black and White

I am a black woman.

I am a white woman.

And my two worlds are currently at war with each other.

My black side is enraged at the injustices so often committed against us simply because our skin holds more melanin than theirs.

My white side is enraged that when these injustices occur, that we are all, as a whole white population, deemed racist.

My black side is annoyed because white people stare at me too long; some have claimed it’s because they think I’m pretty, but others say it’s because they find me intimidating.

My white side is annoyed because black people stare at me too long; some have claimed it’s because they think I’m pretty, but others say it’s because they find me intimidating.

My black side is disgusted because too many black deaths lately have been at the hands of white people and not enough people seem bothered by this.

My white side is disgusted because too many black deaths lately have been at the hands of white people and not enough people believe that I’m bothered by this.

My black side is nervous because I don’t know what skin color my children will have. I hope that they are white so that I know they are safe.

My white side is nervous because I want my children to have darker skin because I think it is so pretty, but I hope that they are white so that I know they are safe.

My black side is afraid.

My white side is afraid.

My black side is angry at white people because some still hold outdated prejudices that my people are lazy, ignorant, uneducated, or dangerous.

My white side is angry at white people because they see that our prejudices were wrong but they aren’t stepping up to make a difference in black people’s lives.

My black side feels shame towards the opportunists that are using a bad situation to be destructive and steal from different organizations and businesses when our focus should be protesting in the way the Martin Luther King Jr. and his devoted followers did. No violence. No crime. Just proof of who is doing the wrong and visions of what is right.

My white side feels shame towards the opportunists that are using an awful situation to be destructive and steal from different organizations and businesses. Our focus is to protest and to stand together; lets not do things to continue to tear us apart.

My black side is sad.

My white side is sad.

But…

My black side AND my white side know that SOMEDAY, there will be no more war among ourselves. SOMEDAY, we will all realize that the color of our skin is not the issue, simply the color of our hearts. We will, SOMEDAY, not have sides…. just a race of humans loving each other for our differences and celebrating the past for it helped shape our beautiful futures.

Someday.

But not today.

Today we must fight.

Today we must fight because there are too many of us who believe in a world where a persons skin color determines superiority. Too many people believe that a person’s skin color determines whether or not a person is dangerous.

We need to be better.

As a human race.

We need to be better.